| |||||||||
| The roses had a fragrance that reminded her of her childhood. The scent was sweet. It was the scent she had perceived sitting here exactly eleven years ago. She had been watching the blue jay back then, fascinated by its chirp. Then as now, she felt that this bird’s song sounded like a young girl chattering. “Chip-Chirp-Chap-Chap-Chap-Chrrrrrrwadie”. It made her happy. That and the roses made her calm. Funnily enough, before she had been abducted she had also left the birthday entourage to be alone. Back in 1411, she had sent her guardian Tom Barnes away. The fuss that everyone had made around her had been too much. Now in 1422, looking back at that horrid event, she knew why she had left. To be alone. Feeling guilty about that, after all she was a princess, she had taken a walk around the grounds. Maybe then, she would have the courage to go back to the castle. Tom, she found out later, had also wandered around the grounds, but in the wrong places. It was not until he heard her screams that returned to the palace in order to fetch the king. It had taken the king five years to forgive the 14 year old boy. A fragrance that brought a smile to her lips was the rose. They had been planted by her mother decades ago, these roses, and returned now each year. The roses gave her hope of continuity. It was only when she left this place that she felt unsafe. But Belinda did not know why she had such moodswings. They always came right before something terrible was about to happen. She knew herself well. She would return soon enough and tonight she would party herself to bits. Then, in the middle of all that partying, something terrible would occur.Why? She did not know.Belinda’s screams still echoed in her own ears, her tears so volcanic that her cheeks burned with pain. The poppyfields behind her, she had left the palace and headed unwillingly for enemy lands. She had been tied to a rack and spat upon. Her aunt had promised to spread a plague upon Belinda’s kingdom as she lay there on the rack. She had spoken of revenge. She had spoken of Lucinda’s revenge and told her that a woman named Nina Ray would appear in 1422 and bring forth the eternal apocalypse.Belinda always came back to the garden and smelled the roses.Right now, she did feel confused. A newly married princess, chased.Before that event, her’s had been a happy childhood. A childhood spent laughing in the meadows, teasing the courtiers and basking in the sunshine, looking forward to one day ascending the throne her father was now occupying. She remembered being free of cares and concerns. It had been a childhood spent admiring the roses. Her mother’s roses growing and blossoming in a secret garden in the midst of what her father, the king, called Iuventus Sacrum. The palace of sacred youth. The home of the rose. The home of the sweet fragrance. The home of young people. The home of hope.Marigolds, lillies, rosemary, ivy, daisies, iris, peony, violets and snowdrops. In her youth, during her time as a young queen, Sieglinde had herself overseen the erection of this garden. The Greek statues here had been created at the special request by Queen Sieglinde. In here, she had never been attacked. This year of 1422, eleven years later, Lucinda had tried to kill her, while she was skinnydipping in the lake by the waterfall, also outside the garden. Lucinda had never come in here. This garden had existed during Lucinda’s time at the castle. Even in 1392, Lucinda had never bothered to come. Maybe, the garden was too beautiful for her taste.Lucinda had been gone thirty years now. Everyone dreaded her return. Everyone hoped that she wouldn’t. Belinda knew that she would.The consensus was that pain and pleasure walked hand in hand in her life and always had. Belinda sighed, her hands travelling down her breezy cotton dress. The fabric of her dress felt summery and feminine and easy. The wind caressed her ears, making them buzz just a little bit. The creaking of the iron gate in the gust of winds didn’t matter. Belinda let the blue jay that had just arrived caress her audial spirit. “You saved me, father. Save me now. Stop Lucinda.”She felt like Jesus by on the night he was betrayed.“Oh, Lord. Take this cup away from me, because I don’t want to taste its poison.” The bird was beautiful, its blue wings spreckled with white and black spots. It clicked and purred a few times, sitting on that apple tree branch ten feet away. Belinda grabbed the outer most wooden bar and supported herself up. She walked down the meandering path past the marigolds carefully over to the bird, just softly enough not to scare it away. Belinda tiptoed over to the branch, surprised that it had not yet flown away. It just sat there and seemed to enjoy this young girl as she just stood there watching it.For the first time in several minutes, Belinda felt relaxed. In the midst of this wild partying, Belinda had found a moment to return to paradise. Was she fleeing? Yes, Belinda was fleeing with an intensity brought on by the fear that she would be attacked and this time die. Lucinda was avenging herself on her father. Lucinda would not kill her. Mame her, yes.Belinda looked over at the meadow. The Greek statues arranged in a circle seemed to be looking at her, turning their heads and waiting for her to do something. Anything.“God, my feelings are in turmoil. Why can’t I relax?” Her father had chosen the 23rd of September 1422 just to spite Lucinda. October the 13th 1422 had arrived. Tonight was the last festivity of the wedding feast. On Thursday, Steven and she would be leaving for the south. Their honeymoon in paradise, as they called it, would commence. Was Belinda superstitious? In this case, yes. She knew Lucinda. After all, she had burned down the summer house. Her father had told her stories of that old place. A Greek Temple of Feasts, dedicated to Dionysos. It had been called the Summer House, because of the many parties that occured there during the summer time. It had a great open atrium in its middle, where her father King Alexander had been sitting with her mother and her father’s parents and siblings. Lucinda had been locked up in the attic. Alexander had wanted to keep an eye on her. But Lucinda had broken free and appeared naked, drenched in the blood of a guard that she just had devoured. She spoke in a reverse language, mixed with old Latin and Greek. There was some Egyptian thrown in there, as well. Soon, all hell had broken loose. The place had caught fire, Alexander’s parents and his siblings were killed in the fire. Alexander chased Lucinda around the ground and finally threw her into a cage and ordered the coachman to take her into the enemy land of Nocturania and dump her there. Lucinda swore to return.“In thirty years, a magic spell Will send you all to the depths of hell.Twice before then, I shall returnIn 1422, you all will burn.”Belinda took a look at the innocent blue jay, now sitting on the statue of Dionysos. He was standing and holding grapes. According to his own account, losing his family had made him a wild, crazy rover. He had his wife, he made love to her. But he also had a mistress. When Belinda’s mother found out, she left her father with a newborn baby named Morgana, Belinda’s sister. Funnily enough, this sister was now known as the royal harlot. Funny, Belinda thought to herself, that a child born during a time of infidelity should turn into a whore. Belinda’s mother had returned to King Alexander and gave birth to the next sibling, a moody boy named Patrick. So, Belinda’s older brother became the melancholy one. Belinda’s arrival in 1400 had been a glory, or so her father had said. Lucinda had arrived a second time. In 1422. She had attacked Belinda by the waterfall and almost killed her. Now, Belinda was petrified of what was going to happen tonight. The court had feasted, orgied, ate and drank in a plethora of delights for the past week. The last evening of feasts was about commence. Belinda felt like screaming, pulling away from it all. She sighed, looking at the blue jay again. It chirped and flew away.She followed it with a yearning gaze, wishing she could be that bird. So free.Why was she a princess? Why was she cursed with a wicked fate?A tear dropped from her cheek.She dried it away with the sleeve of her dress.The iron gate to the secret garden opened. Its creak sounded like a symphony of screams. She turned around, saw a pair of leather boots, a white shirt and cotton pants. One plumed hat was in the man’s hand. Silently, the man strode up to her, grabbed her waist and kissed her.The kiss was lengthy, gentle and masculine.For one small moment, Belinda forgot that she was about to go through hell. For one small moment, she could be where she was. Celebrating her life’s happiest moment. Being a married woman.The kiss ended and Belinda kept her eyes closed for one moment, tasting her husband’s manly juices upon her lower lip. Her upper lip folded upon the lower lip. Belinda sighed and let the light stream in again. Steven looked at her, waiting for her to welcome the world again into her heart.“They’re having fun up there,” Steven said.Belinda smiled, bitterly. “That sounds good, dear.”Steven looked where Belinda was looking, toward the Greek statues. “Your father is arranging a drinking contest with Bantrard. I am so surprised that Bantrard can still play his lute after all that mead. The other musicians are not drinking half as much. The aulos player is trying, though, bless him. Your father is doing is his best to challenge his alcoholic endevours. So, the aulos player has given up and your dad is now devouring his third chicken. Your mother is laughing so hard, she is complaining about belly pains.”Belinda smiled. “Then I might as well stay here.”Steven kissed Belinda’s cheek and caressed her. “We miss you.”“People are having good time without me.”Steven sighed, caressing her hips. “We miss you.”“I was having fun,” Belinda said. “Up until this morning.”The wind started blowing in her hair and that yearning gaze that Steven had learned to love appeared in her face like a fog after sunrise. “What happened? One moment, you were there telling everyone these dirty jokes about randy farmers. The next, you ran out and claimed to need fresh air. You haven’t returned since. What is the matter, honey?”Belinda sighed. “Something is on the verge. Something huge. Something bad.”Steven shook his head. “Lucinda?”Belinda turned around in a fierce way, her dark blonde, shoulder length hair making waves as she did. She shook her head. “I sat there in the Grand Hall, everybody drunk at ten in the morning. Morgana was copulating with Richard in the other room. We, the royal family, having the feast of our lives, happy that the wedding feast is over and that Lucinda has not yet appeared. This wedding party has been a three week hangover. I mean, come on, it started with your bachelor party.”Steven raised his eyebrows. “That escapade with the man I didn’t know.”“You had teamed up with Tom Barnes, who took you out to a brothel with a man that forced you to drink yourself witless. That wasn’t you, Steven.”Steven was surprised at this sudden change of attitude. Belinda certainly was the master of changes. “So, who was it?”Belinda shook her head, put her hands on her hips and walked through the grass over to the Dionysos statue. She touched his grapes, played with them. Steven watched her silently.“We have all been so scared. Scared that Lucinda will keep her promise, because she kept her promise twice. Scared, because she knew what she was going to do already thirty years ago. Scared. So that we have partied ourselves to oblivion. Now, we are at the end of that party, Steven, and it scares me. Because I think, that if Lucinda really wants to avenge herself at my father for throwing her out thirty years ago, then tonight is the night.”Steven blew a long, heavy gust of air threw the sides of his mouth, slowly walking up to the woman he had married on September 23rd. He embraced her from the back and put his head on her shoulder.“Why do you think that?”“Because everyone is assembled. If she wants to appear, then she better do so while we are together.”“You can’t relax.”Belinda chuckled. “Tell anyone with two scars on her soul to try to be happy, when she knows that someone is chasing her.”“You can’t spend your life running.”Belinda sighed, her eyes travelling across the garden to the other side of the bushes. There, she saw the palace in its looming beauty. It was familiar to her. She had played hide and seek with the guards here, helped the gardener plant the roses, wandered the labyrinth with her teachers as they taught her Latin and Arithmetic, she had spent hours trying to grasp how to sing in the music salon, made love to her husband by the lake, fought with her brother and her sister, learned how to act in the theatre, been taught how to paint. The place had so many good memories. And so many bad ones.“Wolves are at my heel.”Steven nodded, his chin still stuck on her shoulder. “They don’t have a chance against you.”“Lucinda has kept her promise twice, why wouldn’t she keep it now.”“Lucinda never actually said exactly when she would arrive.”Cure the hangover with mead, she thought to herself and walked over to the statue of Dionysos. His smile was mystifying. As a child, she had found that he wore a look that was more of threat. Now, as a grown woman, she knew what that expression was: lust. “Sometimes, time catches up with me.”Steven looked down. “What do you mean?”“That she is the bringer of the apocalypse.”“Apocalypse? What apocalypse?”“When Lucinda kidnapped me as a child, she kept on babbling about a woman named Nina Ray. In 1422, she would be the bringer of the apocalypse.”Steven walked up to his wife, grabbed her gently by the hips and kissed her so harshly that it nearly blew Belinda’s shoes off her feet. “So, you’ve told me. Whatever Lucinda has in store for us, we will fight her. She can promise to kill us, we won’t let her. She can abduct you, like she did in 1411. Your father brought you back. She can try to kill you, like she did four months ago. You yourself fought back.” Steven kissed her again.“That name, Nina Ray, drives me crazy. Who is this? It drives me crazy.”“Does it matter? You are much too strong, Belinda. Much too strong. I knew you when you were a child. Back then, it was Tom Barnes or me. We were both applying to win your heart. I remember how we were invited to hear you discuss with the senate about the new law to include children in the royal legislation of society. You were fourteen and I remember how the old men in the parliament were so impressed with this young girl because of her looks. You spoke so well, you were so beautiful. The men wanted to wrap you around their finger by giving you compliments. You were even stunning looking back then. You knew they were only tired, dirty old men hoping to have a fine roll in the hay. There was no way you were going to let them win. You used words not even they knew. You told them that if they were going to patronize you by reducing you to your looks, you will fire them and replace them. In that order. After that day, the children of a family have to be asked before parents move house or make an improtant decision. You created a law that protects the children of our country. It is called The Child Integration Act. Please don’t worry so much.”“I wish it were as easy as that.”“I love you. I lust for you. That has got to account for something.”“Of course, it does. I love you, too. I lust for you, too. My God, I could retire from life and just make love to you all the time.”She giggled. In the midst of all this pain and worry, she giggled, feeling like a sixteen year old. Or a twenty-two year old.Belinda felt how Steven was getting turned on. His manhood was growing.“You are getting hot and bothered.”“The fact that I speak about how mentally strong you are makes me want you.”“Tom rejected me.”Steven smiled, reluctantly. “When you were abducted in 1411, he had failed to keep the promise he had given your dad. He saw that as a rejection.”“Father had requested that he take care of me. I walked out toward the poppy field, against my father’s wishes. Tom needn’t feel guilty. It wasn’t his fault.”“In any case, after we heard you speak in the senate in 1414, Tom told me that I could have you. You were much to strong for him, he said.”“He can’t keep up with me.”Steven smiled, rubbing his hands across her derriere.“I lust for you, Belinda. You have the cutest bottom.”Belinda began feeling how her nipples were beginning to stiffen. This garden was filled with good memories. Why not make them better?“You want to see how it looks naked?”“That would be nice.”Belinda turned around, lifted her dress and showed him her bottom.He caressed it and slowly even Belinda saw that his trousers were bursting.Steven smiled. “Making love is our job. We must produce an heir. Let’s make love.”“Volo haereat virili tua in mea foramen cum mirabilem ut semper ostendere.”“I love your dirty Latin phrases.”Steven kissed Belinda’s neck, slowly letting her dress drop to the ground. As Belinda opened his shirt, he unbuttoned her nightgown, but could only manage the first button. She smiled because she knew that he had always had problems undressing her. Belinda opened her nightdress and let the air caress her body. The nipples were big as cherries now on two honey melon sized breasts. She saw his long gender rise and as the sun shone upon the couple as he picked her up gently by her waist and positioned her with her back to the ground. Now in the midst of the circle, all the statues facing her, she spread her legs. Steven entered her slowly and she felt every inch of his masculinity sliding into her body. Her head slightly bumped against the grass again and again as she looked up at the clouds. She saw her own home upside down, feeling Steven’s sweat drop down on her skin. Steven was going harder at it now, much harder, grabbing her. He convulsed several times, seemed to jerk back and forth inside her and the speed seemed to increase every time he entered her opening. The warm air caressed her skin. She groaned several times, felt her body wobbling with every blow. From inside an eruption came and vibrated in her from head to toe. It started in her bowel and went like a tidle wave to her toes and up to her head. She threw her head back, arched her back and shook her hair back and forth. Her high voice moaned in rhythm with his low baritone and now at once love came flooding from inside both of them like apricot juice pouring into a gold cup. She closed her eyes and felt her genitals contracting around his gender. He started pumping faster and faster, sweat dropping onto her belly and down between her legs Now at once love juice came flooding from inside both of them like apricot pouring into a gilded furry oyster cup. Steven lingered for a while upon her, feeling his gender reside inside his wife’s body a bit. His juice was mixing with her’s a bit. The blue jay was returning. The wind was caressing his bare bottom. His wife’s breasts rested on her chest like two snow white pigeons. The couple lay there together for a long while, not speaking to each other, just enjoying their genders touching. His manhood slowly losing its stiffness and her body coming to a rest. The two young people heard the bird land on a branch nearby. Its chirp was restful, soft and kind.Steven turned his head toward the bird. “The tail twitched when it chirps,” he said, his stiff gender still inside Belinda.Belinda smiled, the grass soft under her back.“Mmm,” she mused. “Like your gender in mine.”The blue jay spread its wings again and left the newly weds laying side by side looking at the sky. | |||||||||
Thursday, October 3, 2013
THE FRAGRANCE OF FANTASIES
Wednesday, October 2, 2013
Sometimes It Lasts In Love...
| |||||||||
| Black long wavy hair right down to her hips with slight curls at the tips. The white light bounced off her hair resulting in her black locks instantly shining and attracting. Her two hazel eyes with a slight glint stared right into me. Pink soft strawberry swirled lips sat engulfed into her toffee coloured skin. She was wearing her favourite red dress; in fact it was his favourite dress, hence why it was also hers too. Diamond earrings were sparkling from each ear and hovered just above her shoulders. This was what I saw before me. My reflection. Every aspect of my appearance was carefully prepared to match his liking. My heart pounded not knowing how the night would end but I knew it had to be today, otherwise I knew I would never get a chance again. I re-adjusted my dress and checked every aspect of my body checking them off in my mind. I sighed and looked over to my clock on my bed-sit. It was almost time; I had an hour left to panic before seeing him. C’mon pull yourself together, I thought to myself. Calmly I sat on my bed and looked at the pairs of shoes I had in front of me not knowing which one to choose. I carefully analysed each pair of suitable shoes I owned. Still I couldn't figure out which ones to wear with this tight red dress. I looked towards my black heels and then darted my vision to the red pumps. Why was life so difficult? I starred at the black heels and suddenly remembered he had commented on them before. In fact he didn't just comment on them, he bought them for me for my birthday. "I don't know why but for some reason I just had to buy you them babe, I know you would make them look amazing!" He smiled at me whilst handing me the box. "What do you mean I would make THEM look amazing?" I questioned him not being able to stop myself from giggling. I took the black box and opened it up to see a pair of black heels. They shimmered in the glow of the light. I hugged him tight with a big smile on my face. The thing is he didn't know that I had looked at these shoes just the night before wishing I owned them, it was as though he had read my mind! BZZZZZZZZZZZ... I started looking around my environment confused. I realised it was just another one of my sweetest memories I had of us. I looked towards my phone to realise it was flashing up. CRAP! I jumped off my bed and picked up my phone, "Hello.".... I looked at my clock, I was going to be late! "yeaaaaaah, I’ll be there!!!!" I hung up the phone and chucked it into my bag. Picked up the keys from my bed and ran out of my house. I couldn't stop thinking about him and how happy I was just about to make him as well as myself. well, I was already happy. I hurriedly walked down towards the end of my road just until I could see our place, the "coffee lounge". This had been our secret place which no-one else knew about. I guess it had become special because this is where we had first met, where we go to meet each other away from the rest of the world and where we would go to just be alone. I slowed my pace now as I could see the shop sign. I felt a sudden rush flow up my body at the thought of him finally hearing what I was about to say, the thought of him booming with happiness from what I was about to say. This was the perfect time to tell him. I stood outside the store and looked in to see if he was there. I pressed myself against the door to get a better view but no sign of him. Only the heat of my breath seemed to mist up the glass window, "Phew." I opened the door and heard the jingle of the chimes above the door. I smiled as it seemed to suit the happy glow I had oozing from me now. Just as I closed the door behind me I faced round to see a tall handsome man before me grinning. He winked at me as I walked past. It made me blush but I looked away happily, no-one could take his place. I sat in our favourite spot peering at the view through the window knowing that any minute now he would walk in. By now my nerves had increased and my body decided too against my mind by showing this as I kept exchanging glances between the clock hanging on the beige wall and checking my phone for missed calls or messages. Still no contact from him but then there was still time, I was early. I reached out to the stack of magazines in front of me and pulled one out from the pile to divert my attention elsewhere. I began reading the relationship advice section to find all sorts of dilemmas. I was so involved in a case given by a woman where she found her husband had cheated on her with her best friend, I was shocked that such a situation was even possible. "That good eh?" I had a familiar voice question me. I looked up to see a smirk on my beloved's face. I had totally forgotten about our meeting and felt so calm until I studied his face in more detail. I couldn't stop looking at him. His lips lured me towards him every minute he spoke. His eyes made mine flutter every moment he blinked. There was no fault I could find in him physically or personally. There was nothing I could do but remain glued to this emotion I was feeling instead of resisting temptation. He waved his hands in front of my eyes and shook me to come back to reality. I guess he must have realised I was studying him too closely as he looked at himself in confusion. Slightly embarrassed I looked away whilst the adrenaline of nerves shot up from my gut to my cheeks. "About time you showed your face...” I laughed, trying to change the conversation, "I see you're wearing your good luck black top." I said pleasingly. He looked at his top and looked back at me confusingly. He walked towards the counter and ordered my drink whilst I sat waiting for him to return. However I couldn't stop my thoughts from wondering if there was a reason as to why he had been wearing it today of all days, was there a reason why he needed the luck today... whilst being with me? Trying hard not to drift away lost in my thoughts. I smiled unconsciously not realising how stupid I must have looked at him whilst he glanced back at me, but how ironic was it that it happened to be a black coloured top to bring luck to him when it is usually associated with death? It made me even more curious to know the reason of his choice of top as I had complimented him almost every time he wore this shirt. He must have realised I was daydreaming again whilst he placed our drinks on the table because he rubbed my cheeks to get my attention. However he had never noticed how much I yearned for his affection or a loving gesture of some sort that I closed my eyes to savour this moment and felt the warmth of his fingers sweep my cheek. I moved my head away and looked up at him smiling. I sighed watching him drink his coffee whilst the steam from my hot chocolate was floating towards his face as if it could hardly resist him. The heat of the drink was beginning to bring out a glow in his face and his eyes were glistening in the reflection of the light. I patiently watched his cheeks cool down, the steam coming into the thin air. He took one look at me and laughed. "Why are you so far away, ey? C’mon!" He chuckled. He picked himself up and sat next to me on the couch sliding his arm across my shoulders and resting his. I watched his face glow in amusement as he finished off his coffee as if he was a child happily moving to the beat of a nursery rhyme, he smiled pleasingly as though he had accomplished his lifetime goal. I poked out my tongue whilst he chuckled at my immaturity. I gently lay my head on his shoulder as he sat telling me about his day. His voice was all I needed to get me through my days. There was never a day where we didn't talk. The sound of his voice soothed my mind and made me more calm and relaxed, but his hands were doing otherwise. He ran his fingers through my hair then stroked my head, alternating between the two; I couldn't stop smiling no matter how much I tried. The butterflies in my stomach were fluttering throughout my body. I just wanted to get up and fly. I tilted my face to come to a fixed point with his eyes. He paused and looked down at me. Smiled. We held a gaze for a while. He pulled my hair back from my face and tucked it with the other strands and held my head between his hands carefully as though it was fragile. I stared into his deep hazel eyes but with no other feeling than excitement and happiness. Why was he staring at me? Did I have something on my face? I sat with a puzzled face not sure of what was happening. I felt his fingers brush the side of my cheeks and chills ran up my spine. My cheeks began to glow themselves in excitement. I was staring right into his eyes that I could see my reflection. I didn't want this moment to end... Ever. I knew nothing in my life could ever surplus this right now. It felt as though I was already in heaven, quite frankly I would have been happy if I died right now because I was so sure that my heart was going to explode. It couldn't take any more. The aroma from his coffee was coming in the heat of his breath and pumping energy throughout my body. He lowered his head and tilted it as though he was analysing me. Nothing could compare to how my mind was buzzing with our memories from these past years. His smile filled my mind, his toffee coloured skin was hypnotising me into a powerful vibe. I felt myself give into this temptation and let him infect me with this feeling as though I was the victim in his mission of affection. My lips trembled trying to utter those words I had always wanted to say. His soft lips lingered over mine, whilst mine wanted to have an overdose and indulge in his. As we finally kissed I could feel myself becoming less tensed and letting myself go, my mind was blank and all I could see was black, but within that I could see his face. A tear slipped from my eye across my cheek and clung to my chin. Those brief moments were insane. Pure magic. I felt a sudden vibration amongst my arm. "Ughhhh..." I moaned. "Honey, are you ok?!" He looked at me alarmed. I looked at him blankly and he stared into my eyes expecting an answer. I looked around my environment as I watched him walk away to the counter, checking back to see if I was still there. I looked at my hands to face the magazine I had been reading 5 minutes ago. I had become so absorbed into the magazine that nothing had even happened! I laughed at my fantasy!! How ridiculous, I thought to myself, if my imagination had taken me this far and I had felt these heavenly emotions just by wild thoughts, how would I react when it did happen. I guess I’d soon be finding out I giggled. I skipped over to him adjusting my dress and moving my hair into place from its scruffy look. I poked him on the back only to feel the rush of adrenaline shoot up from my guts. Oh god. His smile lured me into his eyes, it felt like déjà vu. I no longer had control over my body. I felt like such a hot mess just like how chocolate would melt to the power of the heat rays from the sun. He nudged me with his finger and gleamed with happiness. "Sweetie..." He paused and grinned, "Tonight is going to be my lucky day!" He shouted. I felt the excitement from him contagious, I began to get excited myself for an unknown reason. He pulled me by my waist. We were so close I knew this was going to be the end of my wait. He was going to give my heart a break from the ache, any minute now. I blushed realising how close we were. He leant forward and whispered into my ear, "I hope you like her." HER?! I looked at him disgusted, not meaning to. I pulled back confused. "Hey you," a voice hovered from behind. I couldn't recognise it, but amongst my confusion in the events he had already swung round and locked into a conversation with a brunette curled figure. I peered over his shoulder to catch a glimpse of her. Her blue eyes sparkled with surprise. Her hair sat neatly above her chest. Her earrings shimmered through the chestnut strands of hair and swayed from time to time as she moved her head. Her plumped pink lips looked as though they had never been touched but moved elegantly. She glanced at me briefly making an awkward moment between the two of us. "Hello." I smiled at her trying to break the ice. She waved back to me and smiled. "Oh, sorry babe, I totally forgot you were here! This is Louise. Louise this is my best friend." He said whilst acquainting us. "I've heard a lot about you." She replied. Her eyes beamed in amazement. The glint in her eyes gave away how happy she was. His eyes wondered back and forth between us two as he stood in the middle. Who was Louise I wondered? I watched her stroke his arm as he twisted her curls. If I didn't know any better I would say there was definitely something going on, they couldn't have been any more obvious. "Ohhhh my god. So don't get angry with me or anything... but you remember when we first started talking I told you about my ex...” I nodded, "... Well, we started talking again and well our families got to know that we had been in contact and well you know how it is when the parents know." He smirked. I was still confused, he must have guessed by my blank expression as a reply to his statement. "THAT'S her!" He exclaimed. "She's my ex. I wanted you both to meet, that's why I had kept it a secret all this long and not told you about anything." "She seems nice," I replied back. I watched her look at us from behind, at the counter. We were sitting on the couch, me on the single and him on the double. It was almost as if this was a sign to show me how fate was going to turn out, but during the moment I had not really picked up on it. "Hmm, I still don't get why the secrecy if you're just talking to her you goof?" "Well... isn't it obvious you dork...” he paused for a brief while, looked back at her and leaned towards me and whispered, "...we're getting back together. That's why I wanted you ladies to finally meet. I mean you're MY best friend and well, she's my girlfriend. I want you both to get along with each other. Just give it a go please?" He begged. I felt like I had become abandoned, as though I was a child and my teddy had just been forcefully taken away from me. I bit my lip trying ever so hard to not let my tears fall and show that I was weak. I gulped the meaningless words down my throat and engulfed the shattered pieces of my heart. Slowly I began to edge a smile out through my face and nodded. He jumped up and hugged me. I think in all the years I had known him that was the first time I had ever seen him so happy. I realised he had dimples digging into his cheeks for the very first time in my whole life; they had been hidden all these years! As I watched him disappear towards her, I ran towards the toilet knowing that I had to sort myself out before either of them had noticed I was a mess. I pushed the door open and checked to make sure the rest of the cubicles were free. I felt as though I was about to throw up, my head was spinning. Tears began to fall down one by one into a gush of an uncontrollable waterfall sliding off my face in all directions possible. I collapsed to the floor not understanding why this was happening. These feelings had never been felt before. I felt as though I had just been stabbed in the heart and it had been ripped out to make myself feel numb. It felt as though I just had a black hole in me. How was it that I seemed to know everything about him from what he did in the morning until he slept, everything that happened from the day he could remember till today? Perhaps it was me who had taken it all wrong. I questioned myself, my thoughts and my actions. Maybe I was in the wrong. I didn't know any more. I walked into one of the cubicles and sat myself on top of the toilet there hoping that no-one will find me here. I knew I had lost the battle when he mentioned that she was his ex. She was the long lost love he would always talk to me about. I always thought that there was never a chance they would get back together again. I guess I was wrong. I sobbed for a few minutes until I saw my screensaver on my phone light up, it was a picture of me and him. I really did love him, but I realised the feeling was never mutual and never would be. Seeing his face had taken away a part of my despair. My mind was clustered with so many thoughts but this wasn't the time or place, besides he would have wondered where I had gone. I knew that I would have to go back out there and behave as everything was fine, as if it was all normal and I had no emotions what so ever. But I was ready to play that part. I had to be. I checked my face in the mirror and wiped away the tears that had dried on my face. I knew that by now I had no tears left to fall, certain that during my crisis there wouldn't have been enough tissues in the world to soak up my tears. I looked at my reflection for one last time and checked to make sure that I looked like the same bubbly girl he called his best friend. I practised my smiles in the mirror before leaving, they almost looked real and it would have to do. I stood by the doors, sighed and pushed them out. There he was standing with a grin on his face. I laughed at him whilst Louise stood there grinning. He swung his arm around onto my shoulders and walked me up to her. I looked at the voluptuous curvy figure in front of me, hugged her tightly and said, "He's a good guy, I'm happy for you two." I never imagined I would've been able to say that. Quite frankly I thought as soon as I walked up to her I would have set off crying, but instead those words came out straight from my heart. They were genuine. She interlocked his hands with hers and smiled kindly before placing themselves on the sofa. I watched them become so fascinated by their conversation that they had forgotten I was standing there. Realising this was my cue to leave, I walked over to the counter to get some water so I could breathe again, to get rid of the gut feeling I had around my stomach. One member of the staff walked towards me and asked what I had wanted. "Ok, give me a minute, I’ll get you some," He replied, "By the way... I hope you don’t mind me saying this but... it's his loss that he chose her over you. He's had you at his side for 10 years now and has been so blind to not realise everything he needs was always right there." I looked up at him once realising what he said. HOW did he know? I was baffled. "But..." He quickly interrupted me before I could finish off my sentence, "Who knows, maybe you'll make another guy lucky." He winked. I felt myself blush but happy upon hearing those words. For some reason it gave me some assurance. I knew that in the upcoming years now I was going to have to be entirely happy with them being together, which was hard but it had to be done. I wouldn't want anything for him but happiness. If that was with her he would always have my blessing. I still loved him none the less, I had to find a way to not show those feelings any more and let them go. That was my goal. I looked into the eyes of this stranger and felt at ease. I looked back at the love birds and then at this man, who had planted a seed of hope within me, "Maybe" I replied smiling. | |||||||||
.jpg)
Falling into Conclusion
| |||||||||
The guy grabs her by the wirst, grinning like an idiot. “I’ll show you something,” says he. The girl, with a thousand questions, then follows him step by step, trying to believe a man in front of her even though she has no idea where the steps go. Ecstatic is she, seeing him with that kind of spirit which has long lost. But she can’t help herself wondering, what lays behind this all.
He takes her to a small room full of paint and canvases. It’s a mess, she thinks to herself. She runs her eyes over the room until a one-meter canvas at the corner catches her eyes. There is a painting of a girl standing at a bridge, red big beautiful bridge. She knows which bridge it is. It’s the bridge they go by whenever they want to spend some time out of town. She always admires it despite the rumour which says that some people commited suicide at it by jumping off the bridge. People say that place is scary, but she can’t care less. It is beautiful no matter what. And it’s them the people who taint the beauty by spreading such rubbish. He walks up to her and unintentionally kicks a can of paint on the way. It is when she realizes where she is, and what he probably wants to show her.“You found it...”“It’s beautiful...”“It is, isn’t it? I actually intended to show you that one later, because, well... But you found it first anyway, so... how is it?”“How did you do that? I mean... I know you’re good at painting, but this... this is awesome!” she turns to face him, beaming. She always says that she likes that bridge, so she’s sure that he knows it, too. But she actually never thought that he can be this... deep. She almost cries then upon thinking about it now. She likes him alright, but she never considers it as a feeling from a girl to a boy in a romantic way. Deep down inside, she always restrains herself not to fall for him. Because she knows she’ll be in a deep trouble if she does, it’ll ruin everything. He’s her best friend, her brother, her life mentor, her... everything. And she knows that he won’t look at her that way, not even one bit. So she spares herself a wrecked heart by not thinking about it at all. But this seems to prove otherwise. She thinks, alas! he should’ve let her know long, long time ago! But this is happiness nevertheless. A big, beautiful and probably never-ending one. She gives him a wide grin. He looks happy but nervous, and she can’t help thinking what’s it all about.“Are you nervous? You know, you look soooo nervous there. Want to tell me something?,” asks she in a mocking tone, waiting for the answer she actually can’t wait to hear. “Yeah... I just wonder if she’ll like it,” says he, scratching the back of his neck.“Of course she does!” she grinned, “wait, she...who?”“God, Leana! The girl I told you about... don’t say I haven’t told you, because I swear I have...”“Oh... yeah, yeah of course. That girl, yeah....” She doesn’t see him walk to the other corner and grab something.“This is what I actually wanted to show you. Look, I made something for you as well! Aren’t I just so sweet?” and then he cracks up. She sees him dumbfoundedly as he hands her a painting. It is the painting of a sunset scenery in a beach. It is beautiful. But she doesn’t remember ever having enjoyed sunset in a beach before. And she realizes that she probably just fell into that deep trouble she made herself. | |||||||||
.jpg)
Heartbeat Away
| |||||||||
Shafira stayed in front of the library room, upstairs. She was accompanied with her schoolmate from a different class, Kenny. She looked around the school yard, in the school. Soft evening wind played her hijab, waved it playfully. She just enjoyed it without any burden.
"Actually, what are you doing here, right now, with me?", Kenny asked in curiosity. Shafira smiled. She didn't give any answer. Kenny felt more curious. "I can't understand..." "You'll know it after a few moments," Shafira answered, mysteriously. She kept staring at the school yard, as she was waiting for someone or something to pass there. And, that was right. Shafira suddenly looked stiff. Her eyes didn't move from what she was looking at, in the school yard. Her mouth opened, as there were butterflies in her stomach. Then, she smiled as she was falling in love, in awe. Kenny caught her friend's strange behavior. She took a snoop into the school yard. She then grinned, finally she knew what Shafira was looking for. It was a boy... who stood a few meters away from their place. Brown scout uniform, scout hat, red-white tie, loafers on his shoes, and rope with whistle on his right shoulder. He was John, Shafira's old classmate, a scout boy, and Shafira's crush. Kenny laughed mischievously. "Are you waiting for him?", Kenny asked. "It's Saturday and he has a scout event for tenth grade students. He is a senior and he will hold the event together with other seniors. He won't be home till tomorrow noon." "I know that," Shafira answered. "That's why am I here." "Huh?" Kenny's forehead frowned. Meanwhile Shafira just smiled lightly while she looked at John who still stayed on his place. "Oh, Shafie...", Kenny sighed. "You still have that old habit, hm?" Shafira shook her head, which meant "yes". She used her right hand to handle her head, then looked up to the sky, daydreaming. "Shafie," Kenny said, pityingly. "He won't know forever if you don't tell him your feeling toward him. doesn't it hurt you?" "Of course," Shafira answered, and took a long sigh. "But, I'm brave less. I know that. And I think, Hiding everything is better..." "It's false, a big false!" Kenny exclaimed, almost screamed. "You'll hurt forever, and he'll leave you carelessly. Are you happy with that fact?" Shafira lifted her shoulders. "I don't know." "You must tell him, at least," said Kenny. "But, it's useless," Shafira denied. "I just like him. I don't love him..." "Whatever you feel, Shafie," told Kenny, "One thing you must know, you must speak up your feeling, or it will torture you, forever." Once again Shafira just took a long sigh. She couldn't speak anything. She just stared at John, hopelessly. "I'm curious one thing about you, Shafie," Kenny said. "How can you hold the pain for this far?" "I don't know," Shafira answered, as she stared at John who was walking away, disappeared in the aisle. "I just let my feelings flow." "Huh?" Kenny muttered, confused. "I didn't act too over in front of him," Shafira said, looking at Kenny with her thin smile. "I did act as usual. It wouldn't hurt me. And, I think, John already knows. He has a strong feeling. He's sensitive, you know?" "I don't understand," Kenny replied. "If I let my feelings flow," Shafira said, looking into the school yard, "Automatically my behaviors show everything in my heart. I don't need words to tell him what's happening in my heart. He will know himself, if he realizes it." "I never thought about that before...", Kenny said, awfully. "Then, do you often feel the yearning in your heart?" "Of course," Shafira answered. "I almost feel that everyday. I like to see him smiling, talking, laughing, even crying. Those things leave this kind of yearning. I miss him so much then~" "So, you think you are not having to tell him?" Kenny concluded. "Right!" Shafira smiled brightly. "It's simple, isn't it?" "Ah, I just understand your mind right now," Kenny nodded her head. "You're so simple." Shafira laughed happily. "If something is simple, we don't need to make it complicated. Right?" The girlfriends were laughing happily together. But suddenly they were stopped by someone's calling. "Hey, both of you!" shouted the voice from the schoolyard. "What are you doing there?" Shafira and Kenny looked at the voice source, from the schoolyard. And, yup, Shafira's eyes were widened as she saw who was making the voice. It was John, standing, looking curiously at them with his hands folded in front of his chest. "Shafie," Kenny's soft voice woke Shafira up. She was back alive then. She realized she must answer a question. "Oh," Shafira exclaimed. "Nothing. We do nothing here. Just daydreaming." Oh! It was a silly answer. Shafira knew that. She became ashamed after she saw John's frowning forehead. "You mean?" John asked. "How can you laugh after you were daydreaming? What did you think? You both laughed so hard!" "Oops," Shafira covered her mouth with her hands. She shook her head. "I'm oh! We're sorry. We don't know that. would you forgive us?" John was grinning, smiling in fun. "Well, I forgive you. But, don't do it again. Hm?" "Okay, sergeant!" Shafira replied loudly. She put her right hand to her right eyebrow as her admiration toward John. John laughed. "I'm not a sergeant yet," he replied, then put his right hand to his right eyebrow too, before he left. Shafira looked at his back as he walked away, smiling happily. Her smile grew wider when one time John turned around, looked and smiled at her, then turned back again to his direction. Kenny, who just stayed in silence, looked at them both in amazement. "Whoa... How cute you both are...", Kenny muttered. "Seemed you both were teasing each other..." "We weren't," Shafira smiled. "It was our habit." Kenny looked at Shafira, who was smiling toward the sky. She understood then. She could feel the love Shafira felt. Shafira's eyes told everything. | |||||||||
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)